Archive | September 2015

It Isn’t Mine To Tell

Hello all! Sorry again for delays in posting but other things have just been more important.

Today I wanted to talk about this simple statement:
   “It isn’t mine to tell.”

I was having a discussion with a friend and she simply told me “I wish I could tell you more, but it isn’t mine to tell.”

This simple statement struck me to the core.  I felt so many things.

Respect. Surprise. Guilt.

-Respect for her. She could have told me lots of things, I am certain of it. Things that would have probably changed my opinion of other people-but she chose not to. (This is an assumption on my part, but given the circumstances I can be certain there were a lot of things going on.)

-Surprise. I really am not used to people withholding information like that. Normally, someone in her position would have talked. I was so surprised that she did not take this opportunity to “vent” or “get it all out”. That is a whole lot easier to do than to hold it in.

-Guilt.  It was like a punch in the gut.  I know I don’t gossip as much as others, it is something I work hard at…..but how many things have I shared that “weren’t mine to tell”?

I recently had supper with a friend, following that supper someone  instantly started asking me questions about that person’s plans for the future. I tried my best to answer their questions honestly without telling anything that possibly would fall into the category of not mine to tell.

This is not always easy.

I found myself in a conversation where people were basically bashing someone…..but I knew things they didn’t….things that could have “set them straight”. It was hard not to tell. I wanted to tell them so they would stop. I wanted to stand up for the person they were talking about.  I knew though that I the grand scheme of things it didn’t matter. They were wrong, and it wasn’t my information tell. At the end of the day it is more important for me to not betray someone’s trust than it is to set someone else straight.

It was not easy.

Making this decision has made someone mad at me.

It is not easy.

I find myself wondering though how many times I have not had the self control. How many times have I told things that are not mine to tell? How many times have I sewed the gossip seed? How many times have I sewed the discord seed?

There are so many verses that talk about the tongue, interactions, edifying, encouraging, the list goes on and on.I think there is a reason for that.

I want to encourage myself and you to think before we speak and ask ourselves “is this my information to tell?”, but don’t stop there let’s also ask “will this help? Is this lifting up? Is this just gossip?”

I was told this simple statement in January of this year and it still rings in my head when talking to someone. I am not always successful, but I pray I get better. I pray that this simple statement can continue to change my conversations.

Until next time,
Jennifer

**I want to add that I know we have people that we vent to, and it is necessary. I have a few friends that I know I can go to with anything, they will give me sound advice and they will not tell anyone else about the conversation.  I am thankful for those people, they are rocks that I need. I am talking about opening up to any and everyone and sharing everything you know. Sometimes, you have to learn who you can trust and that is hard.